Sela Locke

but firey brown eyes Fiery, not firey. :D He spoke it quickly and without hesitation I just added the 'and'. It sounded better that way. never for a moment coming ...

“I can’t,” he murmured as he walked towards the door. Without thinking she quickly grabbed his wrist tightly and tried to pull him back. I do this sometimes, too. The ...

His arms were still around me in an iron embrace. He swept me up in his arms -Chokes on hot cocoa- ooh, there's the repetition again. Try something else, because ...

Hilarious! It may be short, but the style is really funny. I was laughing at the end, the way the process just begins again, and so on. 'S really great! ...

Thankies, Smi. Hey, without you guys, it would still be... bleh. :D -Sela Yes, yes, more critic-ness! ^^

Honestly, it seems almost unbearably flat. It's obvious you can do better, but at this point it seems all you're doing is telling. She did this, she did that, and ...

Well, frank you vurry mooch. Yuss, me needies tuh fixeth thut. Otherwise, anyfing? I mean, well.... Yeah, you need to re-review my other two parts, now that I've edited them. ...

Fear. Pain. Sorrow. Emotions that so often plagued Drake, he wasn’t quite sure which was which. They all seemed to meld together, slowly forming into a jet-black wolf. A wolf ...

Okay, it's edited. I need opinions, opinions!! Also, please read the first part first, and not the next part. It's confusing if you don't, so just... do! ^^

and cold, mirrored lights began to re-illuminate the city a yellow cab pulled up next to the vindictive child and honked. Ooh, me likey this sentence, but shouldn't there be ...

Haulting to a stop, I investicated to see what had caught my attention. How about, 'Halting, I edged closer." Or something like that. Yeah, this sentence is just... awkward. 0_0 ...

“Yeah… but it’s just, it’s just, it’s too boring. I mean, where’s the thrill? Where’s the action?” This, first, stuck out to me. I pictured it being more like this: ...

Excuse me? .... thank you! Blatantly? no asses are going anywhere unless I say so, 'stood? Besides, it's not my room, 'tis our room, yours, mine, and that other annoying ...

"We all mumbled “yes” and left out the front door." Okay, I just wanted to point this out, for some reason it struck me as awfully awkward, 'left out the ...

Whoa! Overload on 'familar' You sure wanna drive the point home that she's not where she should be. 'Toto i don't think we're in Kansas anymore.' Rather simple, but tell ...